Inter-Provincial Novitiate

Journey through the Labyrinth

(Experiencing God through Ignatian Spiritual Exercises)

By Carlos Pezaña Avenido

      

 The Labyrinth has been known since the civilization started in every habitation around the world. In Greek Mythology, labyrinth has been described as a passage going through the different kingdoms of the gods and goddesses, including that of Hades which is the underworld, and going to the Olympus where most of the gods resided.

       According to Fr. Paul Pullock SJ our retreat director, the labyrinth has been the place of worship used by the Hindus, Buddhists, and Christians, for meditations to obtain inner peace and enlightenment. To have a firsthand experienced in the labyrinth during our three day retreat at the Seven Fountains Spirituality Center run by the Jesuits in Chiang Mai was very inspiring and faith enriching. For three days I prayed in the labyrinth many times, and there was a day that I prayed three times with different styles of prayer.

       As I go through with this reflection, I will be writing here the development of my prayers in the labyrinth and as a whole in the Seven Fountains Spirituality Center, since from the beginning until the end of our retreat.

       I was really amazed after experiencing praying in the Labyrinth many times because it is just like the story of yourself journeying towards God which is at the center of the Labyrinth, sometimes you feel that God is very near to you but you could not touch Him because it is not the end of your journey yet, sometimes you would feel that God is very far from you because you are walking at the very side of the Labyrinth. While continuing your journey you would think a lot of things and many distractions would try to trouble you. Sometimes you would lose your consciousness as regards to what you do and sometimes you would feel very tired because of thinking that you are walking too far already. And then, when you feel very tired but you still want to continue to walk, it would be the time that you would reach God at the center of the labyrinth which means that would be the end of your journey. It was really an amazing experienced!

      

On the first day of the retreat, there were a lot of things troubled and distracted my attention especially during prayers. The feeling that I just wanted to walk and walk until the day would be over. At that time I had no destination, I had no goals, and I could not concentrate on the things that I must supposed to do. I have a lot of questions in my mind such as, how much time did I spend eating? How much time I spent at the chapel? How much time did I spend walking around the spirituality center? And how much time did I spend praying at the labyrinth? The time runs very slow for me at the moment, I have completed the three prayers that should be prayed for the day, I have prayed the rosary three times already, I walked around many times and I prayed at the labyrinth twice already but still these were not enough to end the day immediately. On the other hand, my experienced in the labyrinth during that day was not so good because of the distractions that troubled me a lot, but just like the other days it should have ending and so, I ended the day not so perfect and waited for the next day to come.

       On the second day, I started to love the place, the ambiance of the environment, the trees, the plants and flowers at the surroundings. At least unlike the first day, I have plans and goals already to be achieved at the end of the retreat, in other words I knew already what to do. In my prayers in the chapel and in the labyrinth, I have accomplished and made them without too much distractions. I was able to talk to the Lord deep inside me without minding all the disturbances that were trying to control my consciousness. And unlike the previous day, I did accept the place wholeheartedly.

       The only thing that for me made my day incomplete is that, I was not able to talk to my retreat director because of overstaying at the chapel for my first prayer period. I did not really notice the time and so when I finished my prayer period without knowing that I have overstayed at the chapel, then when I went to the main building it was already 11:15 am and I supposed to meet my retreat director 10:50 am. Thus I have no choice but to wait for another day to have a chance to talk to him. However, all in all, the day was good for me and I felt the gladness and joy in my heart through reading and understanding some scripture passage in the New Testament.

       On the third day, I have realized so many things especially the things that I have in myself. Through accomplishing all the recommendations of the retreat director I have realized that I have a lot of reasons to thank God for all the good and bad things that happened in my life which lead me to develop my skills and talents that I believed will be used in the future for His greater glory. The achievements that I have gained, the skills and talents that I have developed, the unique personality that I have inherited from His wonders, and even the small things that I have received from Him are some of the reasons that I should thank God. God is really all good and all powerful because whatever we ask from Him surely He would give it to us through different ways and manner. Hence, in every grace that we receive from God we should also do our part to thank Him. God does not need our ‘thank you’ but if we did thank Him we would receive more consolation from Him just like the leper who came back to Jesus to thank Him for healing him of his disease.

       For me, the retreat was successful, I have reached my objectives, and my goals in the first place were actualized. Experiencing this kind of retreat is very effective to a person who is finding answers from his/her questions. This kind of spirituality is really faith enriching because you don’t always find the answers to your questions through discussions and sharing from the spiritual director. Sometimes discussions should be set aside, and you only have to look deep within yourself through continuous silence and meditations to find the answers you are looking for.

       I can say that I have really understood definitely this kind of retreat which is very effective by which I have experienced it firsthand. For three days I was looking up to heaven to find the peace I was looking for, eventually I have found it and it was not in the sky but it was deep inside me.

ADDENDUM:

The two days of traveling going to Chiang Mai and the four days of travelling going back here including the visit to some Stigmatine confreres here in Thailand were the longest land travel that I experienced since then. It was very tiring but it’s worth experiencing because of the inspirations that the individual Stigmatine Thai Confrere shown to us through their ministries and characters in their assign areas. For me personally, I got many things from them though the visits were very quick, I have thought a lot of things that I must do also in the future, if it is the will of God for me. Those were 10 days out of the novitiate house memorable experience, and thanks be to God that we were able to come back home safe and sound.